


Lube

by orphan_account



Category: Psych
Genre: Crack, M/M, oops I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Guu-u-u-uuuus,” Shawn whined like the little shit he was, his hand cradled against his stomach. He spun lazily around in the chair in the chief’s office (she’d long ago accepted that the chair didn’treally belong to her).</p><p>“It is not my fault that you’re a dumbass,” Gus spat in return.</p><p>“You could have told me eating pickles from the jar was dangerous.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lube

“Guu-u-u-uuuus,” Shawn whined like the little shit he was, his hand cradled against his stomach. He spun lazily around in the chair in the chief’s office (she’d long ago accepted that the chair didn’t _really_ belong to her).

“It is not my fault that you’re a dumbass,” Gus spat in return.

“You could have told me eating pickles from the jar was dangerous.”

“Not my problem.”

“You know that’s right,” Shawn said, an obvious impression of his black companion.

“I  _told_ you to stop saying that,” Gus snarked.

“I know you did, which is exactly why I’m saying it.”

Then, Carlton Lassiter walked in.

“You guys have a problem?” he asked like a bastard.

“Shawn’s an idiot,” Gus remarked.

“I’m very aware of that,” Lassiter replied.

Shawn held up his hand, caught in the pick jar and made a pitiful pouty face. “I got my hand stuck in a jar,” he moaned.

Lassiter scoffed and pulled a bottle of lubricant from his pocket. Shawn and Gus’ eyes went wide.

“What?” Lassiter asked, the point that he had lubricant for  _sex_ ( _sex lubricant Lassiter you slut_ ) completely flying over his head.

“Nothing,” Gus said, spreading lubricant on Shawn’s hand and pulling the white guy’s hand from the jar with a loud pop.

“Thanks, bro,” Shawn said, staring meaningfully at Lassiter, who glared in return and took his bottle, strutting out of the door like he was top bitch.

“He is one nasty man,” Gus said.

“I bet he masturbates all the time,” he said a bit dreamily.

“You’re messed up.”

“Your mom’s messed up.”

Gus sighed because Shawn was a douche.

Shawn sighed because he was in lesbians with Carlton Lassiter and wished they could be together 3ever, since he wasn’t sure he could make the full commitment to 4ever.


End file.
